Happy 43rd, love

Well I missed your 42nd, but to be fair, 2018 was a pretty intense year for me. I have a SON now. I'm somebody's mother and it's the most surreal and painful and exquisite thing I've ever experienced. You'd love him, he's solemn and beautiful and hilarious and sensitive, and I worry that the world will be unkind to him. And I worry that he won't be able to bear it, I know I won't. I write, sitting next to my boy who is drenched in strawberry juice, and I confess I almost let this day slip past unrecognized. But Google decided to serve up This Woman's Work and reminded me that you're turning 43 the same day that this little one is 16 months. For years, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and now this strange little creature who came tearing and screaming out of me has eclipsed everything that came before him. It aches to think that your mother once felt this way as she looked ahead and saw nothing but possibility. I love you so very much, and I hope that there is something after this and that you are there feeling your own joy today. And I hope that Stella has found you. She was the most complicated cat that ever lived and I'm certain that you two will have lots to talk about. Happy birthday my love. xoxo Amanda